Our Destiny
by opheliapain19
Summary: Charlie is getting over his demons but in the meantime trips over an angel. (Now finished)
1. Destined?

Charlie broke the band around his pointer finger with a rock he had sharpened. The smell of three day old sweat from inside the band was nauseating and salty. Course, everything around this bloody island smelled salty, reaking of sweat. He tossed the band behind him and took out more tape from his pocket. It was damp but it would still stick. '_M_', he drew on the tape in big thick print. He wrapped the tape around his finger and stared at what he had made. The word struck a sad cord within him that he hadn't expected.  
  
'_Mate_,' it read. _Who would want him_, he grimaced, crumpling his thought and tossing it away. But there it was. In big, bold letters. What he had always wanted. The one thing he always came inches away from grasping before it literally fell apart in his hands. Shannon had given him the slip, using him to prove a point to her brother. The girls he slept with when DriveSHAFT was big, all they cared about was the fame. He had begun to feel like a piece of loo paper, used once and thrown away. No good, useless junkie. Charlie cursed himself and balled his hand into a fist.  
  
'_Liam_,' he growled, _'If it hadn't have been for Liam, maybe he'd have found a girl, married her and had kids by now. Not gotten involved with the immorality of stage life, or even looked to cocaine to make his hurts go away-if only for a few minutes. No good thinking about all that now_, he thought to himself as he looked up to the endless horizon, _your stuck on a bloody island with no one to turn to. _And perhaps thats just what he needed. Stay here long enough, he could get past the withdrawl symptoms and be clean. He could learn how to hunt, how to survive, fix himself a nice little treehouse in the jungle somewhere and spend the rest of his days fixing his relationship with God.  
  
Foolproof, even for him. Charlie smiled to himself as he gave way to another thought. Claire. She'll be having her baby soon and the two of them have gotten close. Maybe he could have his fairy tale ending after all. Course, she's beautiful and smart, so what would she want to do with a washed-up, clumsy bass player? She would do the smart thing and find some other guy on the island who could find food for her and the babe, provide shelter and the like. Why Charlie couldn't tie his shoelaces right til he turned 9 years old none the less track a wild boar, gut it and cook it up right. The guy Claire'd want would be Boone. Handsome chap with a good heart and all the right talents to survive on an island. But not him. Heck, he's still going through withdrawl. What girl in her right mind would want an addict boyfriend? Not Claire. She deserves better. The best. And her baby, he will need all the help he can get.  
  
After saying a short prayer, Charlie got up and walked along the shore a bit. The water was cool on his tired feet and he would need to be heading back to the caves soon. Locke wanted to show him how to tie some army knots tonight and as boring as that would've sounded before crashing on this island, Charlie actually was looking forward to it. But before he headed back, he'd take a dip first, to wash off the grime and sweat. He planned on maybe seeing what Claire was up to today and he wanted to look and smell about as decent as he could for having no shampoo and the like. He took off his shirt and pants and waded in. The current tugged at his legs so he kicked them up and swam farther in. Diving in and out, Charlie could hear the sound of the whales singing far off in the distance. He never thought in his wildest dreams he'd ever be so far off from civilization that the only distant sound he could hear would be whales instead of vehicles passing in the streets. Fascinating.  
  
After tossling his hair abit and putting on some fresh clothing, Charlie picked up his walking stick and headed into the island brush. If it wasn't for the pathway made by many travels back and forth to the caverns, he'd have been lost. It took him about an hour to get there but he got there. And the first person he saw was Micheal, a newcomer to the caves. He was chopping some wood for the fire tonight and his son, Walt, was wrestling his dog.  
  
"Charlie, hey," Micheal said as he wiped the sweat off his brow, "I am exhausted." "Need me to take over?" Charlie replied.  
"Not much left to do 'cept this last few. But could you carry these other ones over to the camp? I don't think my arms can take much more beatin'."  
"Hey, no problem, man," he said, stuffing his old clothes under his shirt so they wouldn't fall and lifted up as much of the kindling as he could. When he came into sight of the cave entrance, Jack greeted him.  
  
"Charlie," he said and took some of the wood, "How's it goin'?" Jack made a great ally for Charlie in helping him get over the hump, as it were, of his withdrawl problems. What Charlie needed was support and Jack was there, doctor confidentiality and all. Whenever anyone said something about the way Charlie acted or didn't act, Jack was there to set them straight, sort of.  
"Goin'," Charlie replied as the tenseness in his face loosened. Finally he was talking to someone who understood. "Headache go away yet?"  
"No, and I am about to blow my bloody head off if it don't end!" Good old Jack just chuckled. Even Charlie gave way to a laugh.  
"Look, just go rest. I don't have anything that will take away the pain, but don't worry, tommorow you'll be one step closer to being better."  
"Thanks," Charlie said, needing the encouragment. Dropping the wood off by the fire with Jack, Charlie turned and said, "Locke is having an educational knot tying class tonight, up for it?" Jack laughed to himself and patted Charlie on the back.  
"Nah, you go ahead. Maybe you can invite another friend," Jack replied as he stepped aside. Charlie still had a great big smile on his face when suddenly Claire came into view. Jack winked at Charlie and parted ways.  
  
"Hey Charlie," Claire said in her sweet Aussie accent. Charlie's eyes blinked in delight. "Claire!" he said in surprise then bent over and greeted the baby, "and Bump! Hey Bump!" Claire's belly jiggled with laughter. She took Charlies hand and placed it on the side of her stomach. "Oh my god, is that him? He's gonna be a rugby player!"  
"Well, you'll have to teach him cause I'm hopeless at it." she smiled. Charlie looked sheepishly at her and gave a modest smile.  
"I'm afraid he'll have to learn on his own cause I'm not much better..." Claire looked at him with such an intensity that it made Charlie chuckle. He was never very cool around women, never knew the right lines. There usually always was a long, awkward silence before the girl excused herself, to look for a more interesting chap. But it was never like that with Claire. "Well, I'm sure you'll have something you can teach him."  
"I can teach him the guitar."  
"There ya go! I'd rather him be creative than sporty. His Da was sporty. Dang jock." Claire's face dropped in spirit Charlie noticed, just talking about Bump's Da. And he didn't blame her. But he couldn't bare to see her so down.  
"Jocks. Pah! Who needs em?" Charlie teased, lightening the mood. Claire's face beamed back up. And when she smiled, Charlie couldn't help but want to hold her in his arms.  
"Right..." she nodded, "Hmm, you look nice." Charlie was so glad she noticed. He didn't feel so good on the inside, but at least he looked good. Charlie smiled.  
"Thanks," and he took a glance at Claire, her blonde curly tendrils just dangling over her shoulders, "You look ravishing." Claire couldn't have laughed harder.  
"Stick a fork in me, I'm done." she joked. Charlie wondered why she put herself down like that. Probably the same reason he put himself down. Only slightly different situations. Life. It had a way of messing with your security.  
  
Just then Locke appeared from the jungle, waving Jack over to help lift the boar he'd just gutted over to the cooking firepit. He'd be ready to show Charlie soon how to tie the knots once Micheal and Jack got to cooking. And Charlie would have to leave Claire. "How does he do it? He's like MacGyver for God's sake!" Claire exclaimed, Charlie chuckling.  
"I know, he is pretty amazing..." Charlie said in awe, "He's going to teach me how to tie army knots tonight."  
"Oh yea? Sounds fun." Charlie just died hearing her say that. Learning to tie knots, fun? This girl was amazing! He'd be an idiot not to marry her right then and there!  
"Yea? You think? Well, ya know, I'm sure he'd be glad to show you too."  
"I can't," Claire frowned, "Kate has come over from the beach with the impratical clothing so we can make some blankets. Sayid got Sawyer to give us some ladies sewing kit so..."  
"Sexist git," Charlie joked. Claire tugged at her shirt and smiled. She must have felt so embarrassed telling him she wasn't married that first day they met. He had to know though. She was so incredibly beautiful, even more so with her pregnant belly. But everytime he said something that sounded like he was flirting with her, she became so insecure. She'd pull at her clothes, adjusting and straightening. Like she was ashamed of herself. Charlie'd never been more in love with her than when she did that.  
"Talk to ya lata, Charlie," Claire said with a grin. Charlie felt his legs wobble. "You betcha..." he replied, as he watched her wobble away, holding her stomach, trying to balance herself over to where Kate was setting up the sewing area. In the other corner, the Koreans were filling the water bottles by the falls, the woman trying to be playful with her husband, batting water at him. He gave her a stern glare and her face deadpanned. Charlie wanted to whack him.  
  
"Charlie," he heard a voice call him from behind and he turned to face it. It was, sure enough, who he thought it would be. There, still fresh drops of blood on his shirt, stood Locke with a woven bamboo cord in his hand. "Are you going to be up to doing this tonight?" Charlie touched his temples lightly where most of the headache was and although it tinged, he nodded.  
"Headache?" Locke asked him. He nodded. "Whats the Doc say?"  
"Rest...but I haven't been able to sleep for two days straight." Charlie said, and wiped his eyes. They felt puffy. Locke looked at him.  
"Your doing the right thing, Charlie. And thats never easy."  
"You can tell me _that _again." Charlie's hands were shaking, his eyes bowed under heavy lids and he had the worst headache known to mankind. It was hard to remember that all this was the right thing at times. And to make it even worse, he was stranded on an island, with no rehab clinic to turn to or even some alcohol to kill the pain. He was going cold turkey. And that about described how he felt too.  
"Once I show you how to make these knots, I am going to show you how to use these knives." Charlie shook his head at Locke. He just couldn't understand why he was so nice to him. Why he took so much fancy in helping him. "Why me? I mean, why not Jack? He's the leader, as it were. I'm just a nobody."  
"Charlie, the first time I met you I saw something in you that reminded me alot of myself not to long ago. Unsure of yourself, your talents. People always treated me like I was useless, like I had nothing to offer. And I would have believed them hadn't I tried to find something I was good at." Locke said, and Charlie could tell he meant every word. But why would anyone ever treat Locke like he had nothing to offer? The guy was a bloody genius.  
  
"I think the only thing I am good at is not being good at anything," Charlie sighed, fighting back a frown. He was pretty pathetic at 'survival skills' and even more pathetic for telling Locke. Whether Charlie could say it or not, he looked up to the guy. He had become his mentor. His one companion on the island. And he felt completly undeserving of that. Locke didn't need some guy like him slowing him down. He was like Gilligan to his Skipper, just screwing things up. "I said the same thing, Charlie. But how will you ever know what your good at if you never give yourself a chance?"  
"I don't know,"  
"What if Benjamin Franklin just gave up on harnessing electricity?"  
"Everyone would be using firepits, just like us here."  
"Well, let me tell you something, Charlie. We wouldn't just not have lightbulbs but that plane that stranded us here would never have been invented."  
"Cheerio, that isn't so bad."  
"Is it? Because how do you know that Benjamin Franklin wasn't supposed to create that lightbulb so that we _**do**_ get stranded here?"  
"You mean, like, _destiny_?" Charlie was really trying to follow Locke on another one of his lessons, because it usually left him feeling better. But his head hurt and thinking this deep made him want his head to pop off.  
"Whether you believe in it or not, some things happen in our lives that are just what we needed. If you hadn't been stranded here, Charlie, you'd still be miserable, still be taking drugs, and you would never have met Claire." Charlie had been drifting his attention to the trees around him until Locke mentioned Claire.  
"What?"  
"I know the way you look at her. And I've seen the way she looks at you. Now you said it not me, but how do you know that this isn't-"  
  
"My destiny..." Charlie said, but in voice much stranger than his own. It wasn't any tone he was familiar with. It was confident and hopeful, two words that definatly would not describe Charlie Pace's life. But the more he thought about what he had just said, the more he realized the depth of it. If some destinies are certain, are there some destinies that you chose? Charlie wasn't going to leave this one up to fate. In fact, he was thinking of another 'ate' word. Holding his hand up, the one he had just re-decorated, Charlie stared at the four letter word. Mate. And a smile came over his face. "Okay, Mr. Locke. I'm ready to learn now."

* * *

Thanks for reading this first chapter. I plan on trying to update it every Thursday, after inspiring myself by watching the show, which by the way for you who are new to the show starts at 8:00 on Wednesdays on ABC. Wonderful show!!!! Anyways, if you enjoyed yourself and want to see more, just review me and I will be sure to keep going! 


	2. The Walk

LotrHp3- Charlie/Claire action coming your way! ; )

Cat Yuy- They make my heart ache too! Thats why I love writing them.

AA Battery- My pleasure!

kristin- Thank you!

Disastered- I didn't know I could even channel Yoda!

karen1-Charlie is the best!

i love charlie- Thanks! I was trying really hard to make sure I used his voice and not my own.

littletoaster- Yours and mine both!

Christina B- They are the best couple!

gavvie- Oops! I will definatly be more careful when I use history in my stories next time.

lostfan-I am so happy that you think I did a good job in channeling Charlie. It was something I worried about very much so.

suspencer- Locke won't be the only one to see the sparks!!!

Christina B-My most loyal reader! Thank you for reviewing me again!

Charlie woke up to the sound of the camp waking up. He could already hear Jack talking to Locke about the days agenda. Charlie looked at his watch and saw that it was already near midday. He had actually gotten a nights rest for the first time in days. He hadn't remembered when he had gone to sleep. Probably sometime after Locke showed him the knots. It might have been the chant for the bowline knot, "Lay the bight to make a hole. Then under the back and around the pole. Over the top and thru the eye. Cinch it tight and let it lie" that did him in. He must have repeated the bloody thing at least a million times through his head. And bamboo lashings were not as forgivable as a rope would have been. In any case, he was glad to have gotten his winks. Stumbling up, Charlie immediatly could feel the rush of dizziness hit him, his eyes blurring the surroundings. His head still hurt. Charlie cursed and swiped his hand over his face. He had hoped the withdrawal would be over by now. Turns out it takes alot longer to get off the drugs than to get hooked on 'em. Just his luck. Shaking the blurriness from his eyes, he stumbled over to the falls to wash the dried sweat off his face. So much for bathing yesterday, Charlie thought, you must look and not to mention, smell awful already. He cupped the water in his hands and splashed it over his face. It felt bloody wonderful. He did it again. Euphoria filled his spirits and Charlie could actually begin to feel his headache leaving him. Wow, he grumbled sarcastically, theres actually something useful about this island.

"Gonna share?" a familiar accent greeted him. Charlies eyes were still stunned with water but with what sight he still had, he knew who addressed him. In beautiful, clean clothing sat Claire, her hair tied back in a side ponytail, donning a fishermans hat. It might have been the drugs but Charlie could feel his heart beating throughout his entire body when he looked at her. "With you? Never!" Charlie teased, coming back to his senses. She cupped some water in her hands for herself and rubbed it over her face. Charlie couldn't help but stare at her as she did this. If grace could be summed up in one example, Charlie would go down fighting saying that it was Claire. Everything she said, did, and often-times didn't do, was always done with careful, thoughtful precision. Charlie was stunned. He was never precise. He couldn't even spit out a perfectly formed sentence if it were written there right in front of him. Everyone knew that. Perhaps more than he cared for them to.  
"I'm going to head to the beach, ya know, to just go and-" Charlie said, trying so hard to not sound as if he were desperate for her to join him and yet knowing that it was painfully obvious. Even Locke knew how he felt for Claire. Geez, was there anything Charlie could do that wasn't obvious? "Yeah, I've got to head back myself. I was going to wait for Kate but then Jack I guess distracted her..."  
"And you wouldn't want to go alone, ya know? Cause, well, that wouldn't be safe."  
"Right." The opportunity was dangling there, right in front of him. If only he could just find those words, those perfect words. Charlie gulped down hard and smiled.  
"So, uh, well then. Fancy joining me?" "If it wouldn't be too much trouble, would you?"  
"Course!" Charlie must have suddenly become inhabited by the spirit of his other, well-mannered self when he found himself standing up, reaching his arm out to this beautiful girl sitting in front of him and expecting her to take it. He had to be completely out of his bloody mind! But there he was and there she was...smiling.  
"Lovely." she said and grabbed Charlies hand and put it in hers. "Bump and I are greatly appreciative."  
"Not a problem, m'lady." Holy God in heaven! Was he mad?! Did he really just say that? She was going to laugh at him! She was going to tease him!

But she didn't. Instead she continued to hold his hand. Holding his hand. How long it had been, Charlie thought, since a girl held my hand. It must have been at least 8 years ago. Before DriveSHAFT. Girls around DriveSHAFT were never interested in simply holding his hand. All they wanted was, well, to be with the bassist. Never be with just plain old Charlie. Was it possible he had forgotten what it was actually like to hold a girls hand? He reckoned it likely because the entire time Claire held it he kept thinking to himself, 'Should I swing my arm as she holds it? Can I lessen or tighten? I've got a bloody itch, but can I scratch it without her thinking I don't want her holding my hand?' But finally, it was the sound of her voice that interrupted his internal mumblings.  
"Charlie, are you okay with this?" Claire said nervously. Charlie turned and looked at her. He must have looked so frightened. He felt frightened. But he didn't know what to say. So he told the truth.  
"Its been a long time since a girl held my hand."  
"I've been wondering whether or not I should. I wasn't sure whether you had a girl or not back home." Charlie had been thinking the same thing of her. Was she still involved with the father of the baby? Had she another guy she was with, besides the baby's daddy? He couldn't help but sigh in relief.  
"Here same." Then he shook himself. "I mean, same here." Here same?! Are you a bloody idiot?! She was sure to run off now. Only she didn't. Claire smiled at him, endearingly. "No. No, I've been alone for quite some time." Hearing the sadness in those words struck a chord with Charlie. They were words he often time heard himself say only never aloud. "Your not alone," he said and raised their entwined hands to her stomach, "You have your baby." A look passed over Claires face that frightened him. "For now, yes." she said, nodding. Charlie's eyes glazed over with a sheen of tears but he kept them hidden. Sadly, he knew what she meant. Everyone knew it. Without being saved, who could promise that Claire's baby would survive? Another frightening thought passed through Charlies mind. Who could promise Claire would survive the birth? His own thoughts were scaring him. He couldn't think like this any longer. He needed to change the subject.  
"So when are you going to move into the caves and get off that beach?" A familiar sigh hit Charlies ears. It was the fifth time this week he had asked her. "Charlie, you are starting to become a nuisance!" she chuckled. Claire smiled at him with her plump, pink lips and her sparkly blue eyes like she knew how much they tempted him. How much he wanted to kiss those lips and be that sparkle in those eyes. Even when she was being brutally honest with him did he feel that warmness rush over him, that urge to take her in his arms and kiss her tenderly til the end of the world. "Starting?" Charlie asked, playfully. Claire gave a long deep sigh and looked intently in front of her. She must be thinking about it, he thought, and I hope she says yes. Charlie was starting to worry himself about the feelings he had for Claire. They were so strong, so pure. He hadn't had one pure thought since before DriveSHAFT! He didn't want to sleep with her, he didn't want anything from her. He just wanted to be there for her, to see her smile at him, and more than all else, he wanted her to be safe. Charlie knew he wasn't exactly boyfriend material, seeing as how he hadn't had a steady girlfriend for 8 years or so and that right now he could never be a father figure. But he wanted to be. And he believed he could be. For her. "Your not going to stop asking me, are you?" she asked him, breaking his thoughts. Charlie smiled mischieviously at her.  
"What do you think?"  
"I love that beach, but-" Charlie began to plead her with his eyes, "fine. I will move into the caves. It'll be better for the baby anyway." Charlie couldn't help his glee. He hopped in the air and grinned foolishly at her. Claire giggled.  
"Thats right and hey, all the boar you can eat. A bloody boar buffet!" he added.  
"Mmmm," she moaned, "I guess when you put it that way, how could a girl resist!?"  
Charlie smiled, feeling quite proud of himself.  
"This is alright," he said, squeezing her hand and swinging it happily. "Ya know?"  
"Yeah..." Claire said softly, "It is." Charlie must have had the dumbest smile on his face. But they were alone. Just the two of them. On an island! God, how many dreams had Charlie had of being stranded on a deserted island with a beautiful girl with little hope of being rescued? It was every Playboy readers ultimate fantasy! And yet, now here he was, stranded with that beautiful girl and all the things he had imagined he would be doing right now were the farthest things from his mind. Was he actually turning into a gentlemen? Banish the thought...

The two of them exited the jungle and were greeted instantly with questions. It was Boone. He had some things that he wanted to talk to Jack about but that Charlie obviously was incapable of answering. Charlie wished he could be the guy everyone thought Jack was. Well, sometimes. At least when it meant he could impress Claire. "So you don't have any idea where Jack is?" Boone asked for the third time, making Charlie angry. "No, I already told you, man. The last time I saw him he was with Locke. He could be anywhere by now." Boone rolled his eyes at Charlie and turned to Claire.  
"Do you know?" he asked her, a tad incredulous.Claire just shook her head. Charlie had had enough and he was seconds away from letting Boone know it before Jack all of sudden appeared from behind them. "Jack!" Charlie said, surprised. Claire looked at Charlie, Charlie looked at her. Had Jack been following them? Before Charlie could spit out his questions, Boone was already on a roll with his. Bloody American. "Charlie, lets go." Claire spoke up, touching his arm to prod him away. But Charlie's blood was boiling. He never liked Boone. And now he had treated Claire badly. Plus making him feel useless by not knowing where Jack was and then insinuating that he did and that he just wasn't telling him.The guy just incredibly irked him through and through. And Claire knew it. "Yeah." Charlie grumbled as he let Claire lead him away. If there was one thing Charlie couldn't stand about this island, it was now that Boone was on it. Usually Charlie liked to stay pretty laid back about things, not to like or dislike things but to just be fine with everything. And for awhile, he was fine with Boone. Until he ticked him off. Who did that guy think he was? Charlie frowned. 'Yeah, well, who are you?' he thought to himself, remembering all too well that he really was as useless as everyone thought he was. Boone could at least take care of people. Charlie couldn't even take care of himself. How useless was he.  
"Charlie, forgot about Boone. He's a jerk." Claire spoke up just before they got to the shore. Charlie sat down and began taking off his shoes while Claire took a sec to catch her breath. He noticed how tired she got now. And how she always was holding her back. If he thought he could carry her around, he would. But that just wasn't possible, least ways not for him.  
"Oh him? Nah, already forgot about him."  
"Liar. You look like you could ignite into flames."  
"He just shouldn't have talked to you like that."  
"Like what?"  
"'Like what?' Like-" Charlie got up and impersonated Boone by making his shoulders look bigger and squinted his eyes to make him look tough, "I've gotta talk to Jack. Have you seen Jack? Where's Jack?!" Claire laughed, clapping her hands together and giggling.  
"You do that well!" she said with a smile, lumbering back to sit down. Charlie smiled down at her contentedly. "Lots of time on my hands." Charlie said and reached his hand out to her to pull her up. "Nah, you go in. I think I am just going to sit here for a few minutes. My legs are bloody killing me!"  
"You sure?" he said and continued to hold out his hand for her. She smiled. "Yeah," she squinted up at him, "Go ahead." So Charlie took off his shirt, making sure to catch a look over his shoulder to see if she was looking at him. She was. He charged the water and dove in. Only he was never a graceful diver so he made a great big splash and when he came up from the water, Claire was still watching him and laughing. "Oh my God, I think I stepped on Nemo!" Charlie joked, staring down in the water and gasping, "Don't worry little fella, I'll save you!!" And so he dove again and again. Claire was in a ruckus, giggling and applauding. "Claire, come on in here! Its so therapeutic!"  
Claire stared at him and flopped her arms up. "Okay, okay. But help me up, will you? I'm like a beached whale here!" Charlie waded back on shore and helped Claire up to her feet and the two of them walked into the water. Claire moaned.  
"Oh, Charlie, your right! This D O E S feel good!" she said and proceeded to sit down in the water.  
"See, told you." The two of them must have sat in the water for at least an hour, talking and laughing. Charlie forgot all about Boone. How could he think about Boone while he was with Claire?! Claire was definatly more attractive. He chuckled to himself and smiled. This had to be destiny...

To Be Continued!!!!! 


	3. The Good Guy

Please be gentle with me, if some spelling is wrong, I wrote this at midnight and wanted to post it before I went to bed. It is a two parter, this being the first part. I would like to thank everyone who has reviewed me so far and I hope to have more comments to come! Well, enjoy and I am sorry AA Battery, maybe I will try to work something like that in later. But for now, I think Charlies got just about all he can handle right now!

* * *

As he plucked the strings on his guitar, he reminisced back to the days when he was a 'rock god' but too innocent to know what that meant entirely. Oh, to be innocent again. Charlie looked over his shoulder to see Claire asleep behind him, her arm resting protectively on her stomach. She was the picture of everything he wanted and needed in his life. But he couldn't have her. He didn't deserve her. And although he meant to look away, Charlie found himself staring at her even more, examining her intently now, knowing she wasn't looking.Her face was like a china dolls, a porcelaine face and rosy cheeks. A perfectly pouted mouth. His ideal. Charlie groaned to himself, turned back around and strummed a sharp note on his guitar. "Bugger it," he spat and let himself fall apart in his hands. His headache was coming on again. And his hands twitched. The drug withdrawal symptoms had saved the worst for last. Charlie could feel his heart beating down in his toes, his fingertips. Each nerve ending felt split. His brain; fried. He knew the more he agonized over things, the worse they got. He knew because he felt renewed when he was spending time with Claire. The hurts fell away like a curtain between the changing of a scene in a play. But they were only being rearranged and set back up for him to agonize over later. It was only a matter of when.

"Hey, buddy," spoke a voice from above him. Charlie dug his face from his hands to face Jack sitting next to him. _How embarrassing_, Charlie thought, _why did anyone have to see me like this?_ And why him? Why the only guy he antagonizes himself over not being? Jack Shepard, guardian angel and saint to all on the island. Charlie looked at him. He couldn't be more than 34, 35. Probably hasn't even been a doctor for very long. What makes him so special? "Hey," Charlie replied, hiding the adomosity lurking beneathe the surface. "How ya feel?"   
"How do I look?"   
"Like you could use a friend." Jack was being so kind to him.How could Charlie stay upset with him? First of all, the guy didn't ask to be the unspoken leader. In fact, he jilted it. Secondly, he was a good guy. No one could say that about Charlie.                                       "I've had a pretty okay day. The symptoms didn't get bad until just around nightfall."   
"And, um, I'm sure a certain blonde had nothing to with it being a 'pretty okay day', right?" Jack rather obviously insinuated as the color rose out of Charlies face. He knew Jack or someone would bring it up eventually. Everyone had seen them together today. Only, he didn't plan on having a well-thought out explaination seeing as how he didn't quite understand the situation him self right now.   
"Well, uh..."   
"Thats okay, "Jack stopped him with a smile, "You don't need to explain it. Not to me." Charlie let out a small huff of relief. Jack nodded plaintively and said, "Got something going on I don't quite get yet either." Charlie was shocked at how well Jack understood him, by only reading his facial expressions.                                                   "I mean, we're just friends." Charlie added.   
"Friends...that hold hands?" Jack pondered.   
"You were following us!" Charlie pointed, feeling a sense of 'I thought so' bubbling out of him. Charlie scratched his beard and chuckled, "We really are just friends, man, honest."   
"No, no, thats good, Charlie. Thats just what that girl needs."   
"I'm not exactly what the doctor would prescribe though."               "No, Charlie, she's lucky to have you. And you know what, I think you are lucky to have her. I thinks shes just what you need, too." Charlies interest piqued. Had Jack just said that? Was he hearing well? Charlie went back to staring at the ground, mulling over the words. _Claire...lucky to have **M e**? And me, well, course I was lucky to have Claire. But was Jack prescribing Claire to me, like a medication? Like a salve to heal my wounds?_ He was too lost in thought to continue the conversation and Jack knew it. But before getting up to leave, Jack turned around to face him.   
"Your a good guy, Charlie." Charlie looked up, directly into Jacks eyes before Jack turned and walked away. A guy who barely knew him, who had just met him, was saying he was a good guy. Could he believe that? He wanted to. But that would mean Charlie would have to trust him. And for him, that wasn't earned so quickly.

_'Your the rock god, baby brother..._' he heard Liams voice say, then Charlie gaped down at the ground, _'No one even knows who the sodding bass player_ _is!'_ His eyes were blurring quickly with tears. But he couldn't lose it. Not here. Not near everybody, not next to Claire. Charlie casually set down his guitar and swiped his sleeve across his nose, getting a quick look over the encampment. Nobody was looking. Nobody cared.

_'Nobody even knows who the sodding bass player is!'_ the voice screamed again. Charlie gulped down hard and began to slip off. Off into the jungle, into the wild. The fear of the island at night was like a high, the feeling of not knowing what could happen next. He could almost sense it slide down his throat like a pill. It became hard to swallow but he pressed on. Deeper and deeper Charlie plunged, through the brush and into the velvety darkness where the horizon met the ground and blended into one. The adrenaline shooting through his veins. The surroundings about him grew hazy, like a fading dream. He tumbled over branch and stream until all thought of attachment to himself or others bereft him. He was alone. He was afraid. And he was no better off than where he was yesterday.

Cursing to the sky, Charlie fell to his knees, crying out as loud as he could, **_"N o b o d y!!!!"_** and again he let out a sob, falling down farther, burrowing his face to the ground. And there he stayed, staring frightened at the trees around him. The jungle swung as Charlie shuddered to think what might come next. Leave crunched and bristled in the trees. The flapping of nature, its animals, its oceans all greeted his ears. But no sound could stall his fears. No sound but the one he loved the most.   
"Charlie..." spoke a voice above him. Charlie rolled over onto his back, tears and mud melted all over his face. "Claire," he cried, "You shouldn't be out here." She wasn't pregnant. The baby was in her arms. He was hallucinating but he didn't care.                              "Your not far from the camp." she told him, "Its only 10 meters from here. Get up and I'll lead you back."   
"Claire, I can't. I'm so afraid."   
"I'm not going to leave you, Charlie." she assured him. Charlie had to remind himself this wasn't real before he decided to answer. But she started to talk again. "Now give me your hand." A hand was extended to him. Reluctant, Charlie took it and sniffled heavily at her.   
"I can't move." he panicked, trying to get up off his knees but feeling paralyzed.   
"Yes, you can." she told him, "Believe."   
"In what? Believe in what?"   
"Yourself." Charlies eyes prodded her, the baby, the whole area around them. Could he believe in himself? Maybe not. But was he going to let the baby down? He shouldn't even be here. It wasn't safe for him. Charlie took Claire's hand and felt his body creak as he rose up. "Come," she beckoned him and led him through the brush. Charlie was still afraid but confident. He wasn't alone. He had Claire. And a baby to protect.   
"I love you," Charlie announced as he felt the presence of a feeling he hadn't had in a long time. Affection. He was so happy that Claire was here with him, even if it was just a hallucination. He knew that it meant something profound. And he wanted to tell her. But Claire didn't respond. She just continued leading him. Discouraged, Charlie trekked on. He couldn't believe even a hallucinated woman wouldn't even tell him she loved him. How pathetic.

Well, eventually he passed out somewhere before the entrance to the caves and when he awoke his hallucinated dream girl was gone. Unforunatly, sleeping on a pillow of bed rock left him with a splitting headache and an even nastier back sore. But he was alive. And for him, that was good enough. At least, for now.


	4. Truth or Dare

He still couldn't believe everything that happened last night. In fact, he wasn't even sure he remembered all of it. All he knew was he had just woken up on a rockbed with a backache and no idea where Claire had gone off to. Charlie let out a heavy sigh. He wished he had stayed at camp with her. Woken up with her. Watched her sleep. Oh well, thats what you get for going crazy. Charlie stretched and headed out and around the campsite to find a place he could go to the loo. And just as he was about to go, Hurley came bounding towards him, his face pinkened and covered in sweat. Charlie jumped.   
"Ah!" he said and quickly hid himself. Hurley stopped in his tracks and turned around, apologizing. "You scared the you-know-what outta me!"   
"Sorry," Hurley reiterated, "I gotta tell Jack something." Charlie finished and rapidly zipped his pants. Embarrassed alittle, he walked cautiously out from behind the tree. "You okay, man? You looked alittle stressed." Charlie asked, looking at Hurley with his robust chest dropping and raising rapidly. "Ya know, I could tell him."   
"Could you?" Hurley said, resting himself against the tree next to him.   
"Yeah, wait here." Charlie said, thanking God for getting him away from this horribly awkward situation. It was like at ball parks, where guys tried to carry on conversations when you were using the urinal. Scary.   
So Charlie left and found Jack carrying a bushel of logs into camp and told him about Hurley. Micheal was standing there as well, studying a drawing. Looking up, Micheal shook his head.   
"He's up to something. I'm coming too." Jack dropped the wood.   
"Okay, take us to him." he told Charlie and the three of them all walked into the jungle to where Hurley was at. Excitedly, Hurley greeted them all, although Charlie preferred not to make eye contact at first. "I have a gift," Hurley said and led them to the open valley, about 40 meters from the beach and 15 from the caves. And in the middle of the clearing stood a tall stick with a piece of cloth tied at the top. 

"Welcome to the first," then adding cheerily," and hopefully the last, Island Opening. Its two holes, for the moment and 3 par." Inside, Charlie was screaming with excitement. Just what he needed. A game to keep his mind off the drugs! If he wasn't still so bloody freaked out by his encounter in the woods, he would have ran over and hugged the bloke! He looked at Micheal first then Jack. Both looked hesitant about the idea. But if they felt anything like he did, he knew they were secretly adoring the idea. Jack is doctor, for goodness sakes! He must have played golf like a million times in his life. Bet he was never more glad to hit the tee than now, especially with all the stress of being the annointed leader. And with a smile, both conceded. Charlie was never happier. "Micheal and I against Charlie and you." Jack said, and extended his hand, "May the best castaway win." Charlie could feel himself cringe but tried hard to keep the smile upon his face. _Paired with Hurley? What did I do to deserve such irony?   
_"Alright, dudes!!" Hurley exclaimed, "Let's get it on!" Hurley chucked the bag at Charlie and Jack took a nine iron for his first swing. Charlie had never played golf much before so he didn't know if that was right but he watched carefully at the doctors choices, hoping to get some pointers. Finally, it was his turn.   
"Okay, everybody, silence. Watch the Master." Charlie said, talking smack and trying to be cool. But it was made instantly clear the first time he swung and missed that he had only ever played the sport a couple times. And all those Putt-Putt courses didn't count. "Okay, okay, so I'm alittle rusty."   
"Sure Charlie," Jack laughed, "but we'll be nice. That one won't count. Try again." Charlie stared at the ball and grumbled at it. "Alright, you useless prat, get as close to that other hole as you can or I'll chuck you straight into the ocean. Got it?" Charlie raised the club, focused on the ball and took a swing. He had hit it. It was heading upwards and seemingly in the direction he wanted it to. He danced like an idiot. "Uh Charlie?" Hurley said, tapping him on the shoulder. Charlie stopped and chuckled at him.   
"Yeah?"   
"That was just a chunk of dirt."

Charlie would never play golf again. It wasn't that fun anyways. So he headed back to the caves, back to Claire. Walt said she was sleeping and Charlie actually didn't mind. He liked to see her asleep. She even sometimes smiled in her sleep. He wondered what made her smile. Could she be dreaming of the baby's father? Being with her baby? Charlie smiled. Maybe him?

The camp was empty, even the Koreans were gone. But they often were gone anyway and he didn't expect to see them until later. It was just the two of them. Charlie snuck up on her as she laid curled up inside the caves, shaking. Worried, Charlie bowed beside her and stroked her face. There were tears on her cheeks.   
"Claire?" he asked harried, "Are you okay?"   
"Charlie?" her voice asked out as she slowly rolled over. When she saw him bowed over her, she smiled and wiped away the tears on the other side of her face."I'm glad your here."   
"Whats wrong?"   
"Walt," she began," he told me he was going to go to the bathroom. That was over an hour ago." she said, her icey blue eyes staring away, "He was bored with me. He left to go play golf."   
"I'm so sorry, Claire. I'll make sure to beat him up next time I see him." he said, actually quite seriously. But Claire laughed. He was glad she thought it was funny. Cause he wasn't prone to beating up 10 year olds but he'd do it anyway if it made Claire feel better.   
"No. Its just...I was alone....and I got scared....and..."   
"Oh, love. I understand. And I am so sorry....is there anything I can do?"   
"Stay with me?"   
"You couldn't get rid of me if you tried." he stated. Again, she giggled. Their hands moved in towards another. Slowly, he gripped his hand loosely around hers. She was so warm.   
"I don't blame him," she started to say, "I'd leave me too."   
"What?! Nonsense."   
"I can't do much..." she explained and relaxed her head against his shoulder, "I can't do anything."   
"You do alot for me..." he informed her. Claire nestled her head closer. Charlie could barely breath. He was so grateful to have the priveledge of being here with her right then. How wonderful it felt to be wanted.   
"Did you win?" Claire said, changing the topic. Bloody marvelous. He gives her a flirtatious commendation and she changes the subject. That could not be good.   
"Nah," he said and sighed, "Games rigged anyway."   
"Aww," she moaned.   
"You wanna play a game?"   
"Oh Charlie, I can't play golf..."   
"No, no, no...I mean, a game. Like, Truth or Dare!" He'd been dying to play this with her since they became friends. It was always his way of getting to know girls. All the girls he'd ever met were 'Darers' but something told him Claire was 'Truthful'. "Truth or Dare? I haven't played that since former school, 7th grade!"   
"Well, c'mon then it'll be fun. You go ahead and start."   
"No, you go. I'm not ready."   
"Okay, uh, Truth or Dare?"   
"Truth." Didn't surprise him at all. She didn't seem like the 'Dare' type. Course he could go either way. But he wanted to get to know more about her. So this was perfect.   
"Okay, so, whats the thing that scares you the most?" Claire 'hmm-ed' and began to massage her stomach.   
"It used to be spiders. I hate spiders! But now, I can only think of one thing that scares me the most..." and she patted her swollen stomach. Charlie nodded.   
"Yeah, something that big coming out of something-" he mannerly cut himself off and cleared his throat. Claire giggled. Charlie grinned. "Okay, its your turn."   
"Truth or Dare, Charlie..."   
"Truth."   
"What scares _y o u_ the most?"   
"Well, Locke and his **400 knives** for one..."   
"C'mon!" she giggled, "Be serious!"   
"I was!" Charlie admitted and played with her fingers, "Hmm. I guess what I fear and what I hate go hand in hand so I'll give you a 2 for 1 deal."   
"Oh, how generous of you..."   
"Being useless."   
"Your not useless, Charlie..." Claire told him. Charlie frowned. She was always so honest. So genuine. Maybe she was right. Most likely she just didn't know enough about him to not know better. But he hoped on changing that. At least, the getting to know him part.   
"Okay, well, its your turn again. Truth or Dare?"   
"Truth."   
"Truth again?" he smiled thoughtfully, "Ah alright, whats your deepest secret?" "I don't know!" she giggled, "Aussies aren't really that big on secrets!"   
"So, thats a 'no' on big secrets?"   
"Well, tell me," she asked provokingly, "whats yours?" Charlie deadpanned. He hadn't thought she'd turn it around on him. Should he answer? "I-" he began and stopped, "I used to be-" _Was this a good idea?_ Charlie gulped hard, "I used to be-"   
"Okay, okay. Will it help if I tell one semi-deep secret?"   
"Extremely."   
"Okay. I used to be a cheerleader. Shocking, right?"   
"I will have to see this cheerleading!" Then he corrected himself, "Uh, after the little one is out, course." Claire knuckled him in the shin lightly and then smiled up at him.   
"Alright. Now tell me, whats in your proverbial closet?" She was looking at him. Waiting. But how could he tell her? _'Yeah, I've been a cocaine addict for the past five years up until now, where I am going through painful detox.' _She would have to be out of her mind to still want to be with him, if she ever even considered the thought. Charlie met Claire straight in the eyes. _'If I tell you, will you look at me the same way you are now? Will you still think of me the same way?'_ He swallowed hard. "I used to be a closet clown fanatic. Clowns everywhere! A complete prat, really."   
"Clowns?" she asked. Charlie paled. She didn't believe him? Of course she wouldn't. Angels can tell when you lie. Its a fact.   
"You don't believe me?"   
"No, of course I believe you, its just I've never met a rock star clown enthusiast." He felt like throwing up. She believed him. She didn't have any other reason not to. Up until now, he'd been entirely straight up with her. Why didn't he just tell her? He knew why. Those eyes. So trusting. So believing. He needed those eyes to tell him everything he had never heard. If he told her the truth, he could lose all that. Charlie sighed. "We are few in number." he replied vacantly. Claire rested closer to him and nestled her head in the crook of his arm.   
"I'm so tired, Charlie. Do you mind if I nod off for a few?" He was hardly awake himself. He relaxed his back against the cave wall and shut his eyes. "Yes, that would be fine." he said and yawned."Dream sweet."

* * *

So thats the next chapter everybody. Like how I ended it? 'Dream sweet'? If you saw the previews, then you know that Claire begins to have weird dreams. So I added some irony. Anywayz, R&R! 


	5. Time

I feared that I might have come down with writers block but listening to my Sarah M. cd helped. Aww, so where was I? Well, I decided to stray from the show. I was getting tired of thinking that I might have to kill Claire in my story so I just did my own thing! Hope you like my decision...

Charlie had drifted off into dreams. Beautiful dreams. He hadn't had a good dream in a long time. But in his dream, it was only Claire and him. And they were swimming. And she was telling him about how hard her life had been. And he told her everything. Everything. And he felt so good about himself after telling her. It was like he had exfoliated his soul. Charlie chuckled. Okay, bad analogy. He looked around himself. He was still lying against the cavewall. But Claire wasn't there. He looked around. He saw Locke sitting on a log outside and called out to him.

"Looking for Claire?" Locke asked before Charlie could even ask the question. He nodded. Locke smiled, "She is over there." he replied, pointing towards the Doctors cave entrance. Charlies bones chilled over.

"She's over there?" he asked, fear incumbent in his voice. Doctors meant it was time. Time meant baby. Baby meant everything Charlie had feared and hoped for.

"Yup." Charlie knew Locke was purposely not giving him any information on purpose. And it angered him. He knew it would kill Charlie to have ask him if it was time. He knew Charlie was racked in fear. He knew Charlie was a coward.

"Is it-?" Charlie said stumbling to his feet. His back ached. How long had he slept? He looked into the sky, past the tree canopy. It was near nightfall. He went to brush the dirt from his pants when he realized his hands were trembling. Geez, Charlie, your acting like it were your baby.

"Son, I think its safe to say that baby is going to born tonight." Charlie was so glad that Locke had answered him that at first the news that the baby really was being born didn't hit him. And when it did, he went into a full-on panic.

"The baby?! Well why didn't anyone bloody wake me up?!" Charlie cursed and ruffled his hair nervously. Locke looked at him.

"Claire actually said to let you sleep." Of course, Charlie thought, she doesn't want me to be there for her. Bloody useless English tosser. All sorts of thoughts ran through Charlies head at this moment. None of them made much sense.

"Can I see her, do you think?" he finally spat, quizzically. Locke gave him a questioning look.

"I don't know. Trying couldn't hurt." Just what Charlie needed right now. Some of Lockes sarcastic wisdom to put him in gear.

"Right," he said and went to head for the cave before Locke stopped him, calling out."Yeah?"

"Tell her to breathe." Locke added with a wink. Charlie chuckled. Oh yeah, he thought smiling, forgot.

"Thanks!" he said and then ran off. His feet were wobbly. His head was so light that he swore he'd just fall over. He passed Shannon sitting by the fire talking with Boone. He nodded in acknowledgment of the two and continued past. But Boone called out to him.

"Where you going?" Boone hollered. Charlie turned around and looked at him. Was the guy really that dumb or did he just like getting beat up?

"Uh, Claire. She's having her baby." he stated.

"Kate and Jack are there. They don't need you." he said. Charlies face grew hot. He'd never been a violent person but in Boone's case he'd make an exception. Charlie stared at Boone irritatedly.

"Claire needs me."

After getting past Boone and his barricade of retarded questions, he came to the cave. He knew it was the right cave because all anybody around the area could hear was Claire screaming and Jack telling her what to do and what not to do, every once in awhile ordering Kate to do something. Charlie gripped the loops on his pants so tight that he nearly tore them off. Claire looked in pain. Quickly, he came to her side, knelt down and smiled at her.

"I'm here, love. Breathe, hun, just breathe." he spoke soothingly. Jack looked up at him and grinned.

"Nice to see you awake." he joked. Charlie acknowledged him with a laugh.

"Charlie..." Claire whimpered, "your here."

"Yes, but I would have been here sooner if I knew the little one was coming. Why did you tell them not to wake me??"

"You looked so content," she spat and gripped onto his hand, "Oh, another one..."

"Contractions. They're closer now. Every two minutes. She's nearly fully dialated." Kate filled him in. Charlie noticed how he could barely feel his hand anymore. Claire had quite a good grip on him and he was gonna start crying himself if she didn't get past this contraction.

"Breathe, just breathe..." Charlie began to say again. Claire grumbled.

"I am breathing!!" she growled. Jack laughed to himself at how snappy she was.

"I meant for me..." Charlie replied and winced. Claire looked at his hand and moaned apologetically. She loosened her grip but to Charlie he didn't notice that she had even let go.

"Charlie, I'm sorry..." she cried, tears pouring down her face. "I am a big, fat, mean, old cow..." she whined. Charlie could barely hold back the laughs.

"What?!" Charlie exclaimed, looking at her then to Jack for some sort of explanation.

"Thats normal. Claire, hun, listen. I'm gonna need you to push now."

"Push! Push means baby!" Charlie said excitedly and let Claire hold his hand again. Claire looked at him, asking if he was sure. He nodded.

"Alright, PUSH!" Jack ordered. Claire heaved forward, her face reddening. For the moment, her screams subsided but after the push she let out long cries. Charlie could barely believe what was happening. He was witnessing a birth. And not just anybodys birth. Claire giving birth. The woman he loved. He groaned with her the next push. Again, she gave way to tears. Jack said it was almost out. One last push. Charlie couldn't even feel her breaking his fingers anymore. All his thoughts were bent on the baby. On Claire. On their baby.

"Claire, hun, one last push! Your gonna do it, your gonna do it!" he cheered her. It was the moment all four of them had waited for. Had worked for. With a loud, high-pitched wail, a baby was brought into the world. Jack tied the umbellical cord and Kate scooped the babys nose clear with a small toothbrush. And when they were done cleaning it, Jack gave the baby to Charlie. To him, why? He looked at Claire who was staring up at the baby, lovingly. How could he think like that at a time like this? Charlie smiled at her.

"Claire, meet your baby boy." Claire reached up weakly and touched the babys hand with her finger. Charlie could barely breathe. A new life was resting in his arms. Not just any life though. Claires life. As hard as he tried to keep from doing it, Charlie finally gave way to tears.

"Ahh, Charlie, he's so beautiful..." she cooed. Charlie looked at her. He had known so many girls in his short life, beautiful girls. But none of those girls were ever as beautiful as Claire was right now. He looked at her closely, examining the look of joy on her face. You could tell how happy she was. Charlie looked back down at the baby. Blue eyes. Blond hair.

"He's got your eyes." he stated, "and uh, my sense of style."

"Charlie, he's naked"  
Charlie just lifted his brow at her.

"'Kay, Claire, we need to do the after-birth now. Uh, Charlie, you might want to leave." Charlie decided he would just take Jacks word on it. But when he stood up, he realized he still had the baby.

"Take care of him, Charlie." she told him, grinning. He looked at the baby proudly.

"Like he were my own..." he spoke and walked off, as proud as a father. A Daddy? Him?

In my dreams... 


	6. A Better Life

Charlie had been resting against a log watching Claire sleep for the past three hours or so. Holding the young one in his arms, he thought about how sad his life had been up until this point. He was 27 years old, no girlfriend to speak of and addicted to drugs. He was missing out on so many things.

Love.

Family.

Children.

Charlie looked down upon the babies scrunched up little face and smiled. He hadn't really opened his eyes yet but he liked to blow bubbles with his spit. And even though he wasn't looking around, you could tell by his facial expressions that he was wondering where he was. Charlie gave way to a sigh.

"Sorry, your stuck here, kiddo." he spoke softly, rocking the boy back and forth to calm him. He couldn't have Claire waking up to take care of him yet. She was still too weak and needed rest. And Charlie wasn't ready to give the little one up. "Your mum wanted to give you a better life. Thats why she was going to America, I guess. But things don't always go as planned. But just because something doesn't go as planned it makes it wrong," he corrected himself, knowing that the baby himself obviously wasn't planned, "just makes it different." The baby wriggled around and nestled in close to his chest.

"Your mum loves you," Charlie added gently,"and you've got me. Uncle Charlie." Charlie frowned for a second. He wanted to say Dad. Why was he bonding so well with this baby? And why did he keep wanting it to be his? "I wish I were your Dad, boy...but your Mum, she deserves better."

The baby cooed.

"Why? Well, its grown-up stuff. Your too little to understand yet." Charlie glanced down at Claire, resting on her side with a blanket tossed over her. There were bags under her eyes and her face was flushed pink. Jack said she might run a fever for a day or two after the birth but he gave her some Tylenol and he said it would reduce it and take some of the pain away. It must have worked because shortly after taking it, Claire was finally able to go to sleep. Charlie talked to her alittle before she nodded off. She held her son for awhile, rocking him and talking to him. Charlie had never seen a girl so proud in his life. She looked so content. And when she fell asleep thats when Charlie took him. And here they were, 3 hours later, still chatting. Charlie chuckled at the kid.

"You know, your an inquisitive little fella." Charlie laughed, as the baby opened and closed his eyes at him, squinting. "I wonder what your mum will call you." he thought to himself, trying to remember any previous conversations he had had with Claire about the name of the baby, "Suppose we can't call you Bump now, eh? Your not a Bump, your a Baby. An adorable baby! I mean, look at those mincers you've got. Gonna make the girls go wild..."

"You putting bad thoughts into my babies head already?" spoke Claire, still in the same position she was asleep. He looked at her and grinned.

"Somebodies gotta corrupt him. Might as well be me."

"I dreamt about you," she said softly, looking at him. Charlie nearly fell over.

"Me?"

"Yeah, we were back in Austrailia, all three of us, and you were taking us to the zoo."

"Ah, the great Down Unda..." Charlie replied, using his best Austrailian accent. Claire giggled.

"And in my dream, you kept calling the baby Grant." she said with a bright smile, "So thats what I am gonna call him. Grant."

"I get to name him? Well, your manifestation of me." Charlie bounced the baby in his arms and stood up, "Grant. I like it."

"Do you think he will?" Claire asked worriedly as Charlie lowered the baby into her arms. She cuddled him close to her and smiled, "What do you think? Grant, love?" The baby squirmed and made a bubble with his spit. "He likes it!!" she reported excitedly. Charlie never felt happier. And for some reason, he felt the need to spread his happieness.

"Jack! Kate! Hurley, Micheal, everybody!" he ran into the camp shouting, and of course they all just kind of looked at him like they always looked at him-like a lunatic. "The babies name is Grant!"

"Hey, thats kind of nice." Shannon spoke up first, a big smile on her face. Charlie was kind of set back by her cheerfulness to the news but smiled anyway.

"I have a cousin named Grant. Works as a mechanic in Delaware." Hurley added. Boone, interested in mechanics started chatting with Hurley.

"Fine name, Charlie." Jack told him, patting him on the back. Boone, noticing, spoke up.

"You guys all act like it was his kid." Boone said. Charlie could feel his blood boiling again. But Jack spoke for him.

"Charlie helped in the delivery. I think he has some right to brag."

"Yeah, least I did something around here..." Charlie grumbled. Boone sat up.

"Whats that supposed to mean? I didn't see you chopping logs all day." Boone added coldly. Charlie looked around at everyone. Of course they all were now listening. Trying to be the bigger man, Charlie began walking away. "Where you going?"

"Leave him alone, Boone." Jack said, irritated.

"You gonna let Jack here fight all your battles for you?" Boone added, interragating him. Charlie stopped. He knew he should have just kept walking. He knew it because every fiber of his being told him so. He didn't want to spoil the joy of today by beating the living crap out of Boone. He knew it wasn't right. But the revenge was too tempting. And the thought of it too sweet.

Charlie charged into Boone like a rugby tackler. He didn't even see it coming. Jabbing his palm into Boone's shoulder, Charlie held him down as he gave him a few good hits to the stomach and face. No wonder Sawyer beat the crap out of the guy so easily. He barely had any strength. Charlie was in control and it felt good. Obviously comparing himself to Boone was folly. The guy was a wimp. Charlie could finally feel the leverage bar escalating.

"Charlie, cut it out!" Jack yelled pulling him off of Boone. Charlie jarred away and gave one last jab to Boones jaw.

"Charlie, let him go!!!" he heard a voice call from behind. It was sad. And followed by a babies cry.

"Claire..." Charlie breathed, loosing his muscles and letting Jack pull him away. Guilt rushed over him. What had he done? What had he done... 


	7. Show and Tell

Charlie drew in a deep breath as he walked past her, trying as hard as he could not to make eye contact. How could he? He couldn't believe what he had just done. What had he done? And why did he do it? All eyes were on him as he tried to escape, but Claire's were the ones burning through him. And he couldn't hide. 

"Charlie," he heard as someone approached him from behind. It was Jack, "Whats wrong?"

"Leave me alone, Jack..." Charlie tried to ask politely. He could tell Jack wasn't giving in.

"Look, its not all your fault...the withdrawal symptoms, they can make you do things. Things you normally wouldn't." he tried telling him. Charlie could feel the truth in the words but he was sick of blaming his actions on drugs. He knew he'd eventually have to fess up to not being Mr. Perfect. Charlie sighed and thats when he heard it. The sound of someone else behind them. Charlie was almost too afraid to look.

"Withdrawal symptoms?" asked the sweet innocent voice. He slowly turned. Claire. Jack dropped his head in shame. He had been careless. Niether of them had noticed Claire following.

"I'm sorry, Charlie," Jack apologized. Honest mistake. And Charlie knew he couldn't continue running forever. "I'll, uh, let you guys talk..." And so on that, Jack left them alone. Charlie could feel his throat begin to close up. Claire's pale blue eyes twinkled at him.

"Charlie, what was Jack talking about?" she asked him, inquisitively. He gulped.

"Claire..." he tried to start but he was so ashamed. What could he say? How could he say it? "I-" He stole a glance at her. Her focus never faltered off of him. But Charlie couldn't help but continue looking down at the tiny baby in her arms. And then over towards the jungle was Locke. Charlie gulped again. Locke looked at him, almost like saying _'Go on, Charlie. Tell her.'_

So, he took a deep breath, closed his eyes and when he opened them said, "I was a drug user for five years." he said, then paused to see if her expression had changed at all. It didn't. "And, um, well I burned my stash a couple days ago. And now I'm going through, uh, detox...which, uh, kind of sucks." Once more, he looked at her. Her face was curious. He couldn't tell exactly if it was shock or interest but both frightened him. So he continued out of anxiousness, "I wanted to tell you, I did, I was just so afraid you'd think badly about me."

"Charlie, I don't know what to say..." she finally spoke, taking a deep breath and readjusting the baby in her arms, "So..._the clowns?"_ At first, he had no idea what she was talking about. _Clowns?_ Then he remembered. His lie. Charlie felt his chest close up on him.

"Bollocks..." he told her in shame. She nodded and then looked down in thought. The seconds that passed as she did this were torture. Charlie was begginning to wonder how much more he could take before he really just died.

Then she looked back at him, "And what about your fear of being useless? Was that bollocks as well?" Surprised by her question, Charlie revived himself.

"No, I didn't lie about that." he corrected her. Claire let free a small smile.

"Good," she added, "'Cause I think Grant just pooped and I need you to clean it for me. Its the only way I'll forgive you." Charlie could barely believe his ears.

"_Really??"_

"Charlie, I think its great your getting off the drugs. I don't know why you would ever feel ashamed about that. Its very brave." Now that was one word no one had ever used when describing Charlie Pace. He allowed himself to smile alittle bit.

"_Brave?"_

"Well, first lets see you clean Grant up and then we'll decided how brave you are..." she joked. Charlie laughed. _Yay_, he thought, _give me detox anyday!_ Charlie looked back over to where Locke was. He was heading into the jungle. Charlie just had to talk to him.

"Hold on, Claire, I will be right back!!" he told her and chased after Locke. After catching up, Charlie took a breather before spitting out the great news, "Locke! She isn't mad!"

"Why should she be?"

"I was so sure she'd think I was a loser. She called me brave! She didn't even care!"

"Of course she didn't care, Charlie," he said then changed his tone, "You'll find alot of times the way we think people will percieve us is really a glimpse of how we feel about ourselves. Claire obviously sees good in you, Charlie. And so do I. Can you see it?"

"I'm trying..."

"Use Claires eyes to see, Charlie. You may be interested to find out what others can see that you are blinded to." Charlie wasn't exactly sure what Lockes cryptic message was but he usually found out later. Charlie smiled.

"Thanks, Locke."

"Now, go! She's waiting for you..." Charlie looked back and felt his heart burn. Just looking at her. A short sigh left him as Locke patted him on the back and continued on into the jungle.

"My destiny..." he breathed. _'And oh, how I love her..._' he finished silently, feeling the nights darkness slide off of his shoulders. Claire was waiting for him and thats all that he needed. Except for of course, tell her that he needed her, that he loved her. But that was whole 'nother story...

* * *

'It is through the power to revolve within this space that talent proves itself. Only thus can we progress'  
-Jean Cocteau

Thank you guys for all your helpful reviews! Couldn't have done this without you! This is the end, unforunatly. But fear not! There are always sequels!!!!! Thank you everybody who was read this! I hope I didn't bore you too much! Well, thanks again and until next time, keep your nose on the screens!


End file.
